Freya's First Birthday!

Freya carried on the family tradition of being sick for all those important days. Poor little girl was running a high fever, refused to eat, she just nursed constantly. My butt is now imprinted onto the couch cushions. I felt like it was those first two weeks when Freya was first born when she nursed every 2 hours but took an hour to an hour and a half to nurse. At least she is much easier to nurse now.

The good news is she had a wonderful party that she wasn't sick for a few days before her actual birthday. She loves lambs so I tried to give her a lamb themed party the best I could. I also had a color theme of pink and gold. I will post some how to info on the decorations I made at another time.

Right now I'm dealing with a sick little girl that just wants to cuddle. She loves hugs but they are usually very short hugs. When Freya is sick it's like her hugs never end. She has such a tight hold on me it melts my heart. She has these new toys from her family that she played with for all of a few hours before she started running a fever and hasn't really played since. But in true Freya fashion, no matter how sick she is she will dance.

We put up our Yule/Christmas tree yesterday. While we hung decorations I put on music to get us in the holiday spirit. Freya was sitting in front of me when she started bouncing up and down on her knees. She smile this big toothy grin which I hadn't seen in two days at that point. She then started to shake her shoulder and dance to the music. I was so happy to see my happy little Freya again. Nothing will stop my Freya from dancing! She also loves playing her dancing Care bear she got from her auntie, uncle, and cousins. It sings the Care bear theme song which Freya sang "care bear" after a few minutes of playing with it. She's not as talkative as Morrigan was at this age but Freya is more of a doer. But Freya will say plenty in song. It's so funny to hear her sing and sing words that she won't say.

I'm hoping today is better for my now one year old princess. Freya has finally been staying cool without Tylenol. I'm keeping my fingers crossed in hopes that the fever stays away. Maybe she is well enough to eat her little lamb shaped cake pop from her party. For right now, I will let her continue to brush my hair no matter how much she is actually tangling it and ripping it out because she is calm.

Tomorrow, I will have a 9 year old!

Tomorrow, I will have a 9 year old! When did this happen? It wasn't that long ago I was holding my sweet little Pumpkin for the first time. Now she is a big girl capable of so many things. She has grown into such an amazing young lady that I feel both excitement to see what this next year will bring her but also I am sad for that little girl that she will never be again.

Childhood is so short, its fleeting. In a blink of an eye your babies will be an adult. No more tucking them in at night, no more kissing boo-boos all better, no magic on Christmas morning when their eyes light up in amazement at the sight of all the gifts Santa brought. I know its kind of cliche but time does fly. I can't help but dread my children's birthdays.

From the first moment I met her, Morrigan had changed my life forever. She made me a mother. I had always dreamed of the day I would become a mother and Morrigan made it easy for me. She was an excellent baby. She didn't cry much as a baby though she rarely slept. She would just sit in her swing or in her bouncer and take in the world around her. Morrigan was healthy, happy, and sweet from day one. I watched her curiosity grow as she examined everything she encountered.

 As Morrigan grew she showed just caring she can be. Not only did she show empathy at an early age, she cared about the environment. She always wanted to help. She was obsessed with recycling and reusing things. She fixes broken toys rather than throwing them away and asking for a replacement. Come to think of it, I don't think we actual have thrown anything away, she has always made something new out of a broken toy. This is probably why her room is over run with toys. She would save containers for crafts. She was a Pinterest queen before Pinterest. Morrigan has always been a creative person, she amazes me still with her creativity.

 The thing about Morrigan that I certainly brag the most about is her ability to learn so fast. I know if I heard someone saying their child achieved what Morrigan did I wouldn't have believed them before having Morrigan. I had always believed that parents are a child's first teachers and its a part of parenting to challenge your children every chance you get. I can't say I am the reason why Morrigan is so smart. Her curiosity was the driving force for her learning, I just offered the source of knowledge and let her set the pace. She ate up every little thing I taught her and was constantly starving for more.

Before her first birthday Morrigan was speaking in sentences. She had a vocabulary that I couldn't even count. By a year an a half she could count to ten and she could identify every letter of the alphabet. When she was 2 she could read some words and I gave her the challenge that year to identify her gifts under the tree at Christmas time. At 2 she learned about ecosystems, the water cycle, and plant growth. She was approaching her third birthday when she wrote her name all by herself for the first time. By three, Morrigan could read an entire Dr. Suess book all by herself. She loves history! We went to all sorts of historical sites and she read books on American history. When she was four she told me she loved reading about the civil war era the best.

Besides the books smarts, Morrigan just has this natural wisdom about her. I say that Morrigan has an old soul. She has always been able to understand concepts far beyond her years. Its like Morrigan has been born with the gifts of reading people. She always knows the right thing to say. She is also a natural model. Since she was a toddler I could say nothing more than stating I was going to take a picture of her and she would get into the perfect pose. That is the reason why I love photography. I have the easiest subject built in. She understands what I want to achieve in my photos and just do it.
This brings me another great thing about Morrigan, her creativity. I said she was the Pinterest queen before Pinterest but there is more than just crafts to Morrigan. She is a true artist! I see how she creates things and its more than just keeping busy. She envisions things and sees things differently because of her natural creativity. She is a little rebel. She has always walked to the beat of her own drum. She loves to get a good laugh and loves doing things that will make people feel good. Even at Morrigan's young age she sees the other side to life. She knows it can't be rainbows and sunshine all the time. Few people know that Morrigan actually loves to read and write poetry. She is also an amazing story teller and writes her own short stories. I remember her teacher in the first grade during parent teacher conferences telling Chris and I how gifted of a writer Morrigan is. That she loves to read Morrigan's assignments because she writes poetically. Even in the first grade her writing was descriptive and she used imagery. I was surprised, I had no idea at the time my little girl was so talented.

Another way my little girl is talented is in dance. For a kid with two left feet when walking, she does amazing dancing on stage. I love watching how well she dances. She has loved to dance since she was a toddler but we feared she was too shy to take dance classes. But when she was 4 we enrolled her in ballet and tap and she did amazing. I was so proud of my little girl on stage. Every year she gets better and better and she amazes me every recital. I tear up with pride as I watch her perform.

 Although Morrigan has so many things to be proud of in her 9 years of existences, the most important quality about her is how incredibly caring she is. I have never seen my daughter shine more than as her role as big sister. She was so caring and understanding while I was pregnant. She wanted to be a part of my pregnancy every step of the way. She went to doctor appointments, ultrasounds, even witnessed the birth of her baby sister first hand. She was the first to hold Freya after me and I have never seen her more proud and overjoyed. She has been amazing with her little sister, being a second set of hands, being a second mommy, and she is always willing to help whenever I need it. I am just blown away by her love for her sister. It makes this momma so proud!

As much as I hate that my little girl isn't so very little anymore, I wouldn't trade all the wonderful times I have had with her. She has grown into an amazing girl and has shown me how to grow as a mother along with her. I may not get to see three year old Morrigan ever again which does make me sad but I get to see what else Morrigan is capable of and experience all the wonderful moments her future has in store for her.

Happy Birthday Morrigan!!!

The Second Child

I recently read a blog that gave 5 reasons why your second child has it easier. I read it and couldn't disagree more. I realized that my two children, even though my parenting is very much the same, are growing up completely different. Just having the other sibling has an effect on the other one's life so greatly that it makes everything different.

Here are my reasons why my second child has it harder than my first.

Less Mommy time.
This is the biggest give in. The truth is, no matter how much you try to manage your time there will be less mommy time for both children once there is another child in the mix. This is natural, you are only one person after all. But my first child had 100% of my attention which means she never had to cry for anything. I got to her needs before she even knew she needed something. Diaper changes where usually in the middle of her actually doing her business which means I was changing a diaper after I already changed a diaper. I feed her at the first sign of hunger. I watched her sleep in her crib and she spent many hours of her first year sleep on my chest on the couch. Nothing would interrupt me cuddling with my first daughter. Now, I'm lucky I can get through nursing without having to get up for something. There is no quiet day dreaming while a baby cuddles up to me. Its a lot of cleaning up toys, spills in the kitchen from my oldest trying to pour her own drinks, and a rush of the morning routine.

Routine rules now
The daily routine that revolves around my oldest makes my youngest the second priority. There were no routines when my youngest was a baby. She always woke up naturally. I made doctor appointments around her usually nap times and feeding schedules. Life revolved around my oldest daughter's routine. Life still revolves around my oldest's routines and my youngest has to follow this schedule. I have to wake up the baby in order to get my oldest to the bus stop on time. Sometimes I'm also waking her from her nap to get her sister from the bus in the afternoon. I put off nap time for dance class on Saturdays. Doctor appointments are made whenever I can make it work between school bus pick up, drop off, driving distance now that we live in a town with the better school district when we used to live right by the doctor's office. Life is just busy with another child.

Less room.
With more children, you accumulate more stuff. I have my living room jam packed with baby stuff. There is a swing, an exersaucer, a bouncy seat, changing pad, a package of wipes, a small stack of diapers, blankets on every piece of furniture, and a pack'n play in the corner I can unfold if I need it. I had all these things for my oldest, in fact, most of them are my oldest child's. But when it comes to toys my oldest doesn't want to part with many of her stuff animals and even a few baby toys because she is very attached to them. Her glow worm for instance, was one of her lovelies growing up. She wants to save it for her children and doesn't want her sister chewing it anymore than it already is. I get that, I'm the oldest in my family as well. Though I parted with things, there are some things that are just "sacred". But this means more stuff of my oldest daughter's in my second bedroom, the one that eventually both girls will share, an little room for my youngest daughter to have. My youngest is spread out between three rooms. She has one toy box in the second bedroom, one toy bin in the living room, and a few toys in a basket in my room along with her crib, and a few other items. Her clothes are in a dresser in the second bedroom but her sheets and blankets are in my bedroom and her bibs are in the kitchen. My youngest daughter really has no place of her own.

Hand me downs
Even with the large gap between my two children, the majority of my youngest daughter's things are hand-me-downs. Everything from clothes, to nursery items, to toys are passed down from big sis. Few things have been bought for my youngest which brings me to my last point.

Lack of quality
Hand-me-downs are only a part of my youngest daughter's wardrobe. The rest is bought at stores like Walmart and Target at the lowest price. My oldest daughter got beautiful clothes. I went through this phase of buying nothing but classic Winnie the Pooh items, then it was Disney Princesses. Everything was pink and pretty. With my youngest, its whatever was the least expensive. Her baby bathtub is ugly and doesn't have the sprayer attachment like her sister's had. Her infant car seat doesn't match the stroller (which also matches the swing and highchair. Yup, its all from big sis). Her bowls and bibs are cheap solid colored nothing special when big sis got everything Princess from the Disney store. Children are expensive and with each one added to the list, the less money you have.

It can be tough being the second child, though it can be true for the oldest as well. It can tough being the pet when a new baby comes along. I think the phrase "the grass is always greener." applies here. I would love to revist this topic when both kids are older. Time might just change how things are done around here.

To My Daughters

To My Daughters

To my first daughter,

You taught me how to love unconditionally.

You taught me how to slow down and enjoy the simple things.

You taught me how to see the world through the eyes of a child again.

I’m sorry I wasn't confident as a mom.

I’m sorry I questioned things too often.

I’m sorry I pushed you to learn the next thing.

To my second daughter,

You taught me I can do great things if I try.

You taught me to be confident in my decisions.

You taught me my heart is as big as I let it be.

I’m sorry I can be impatient.

I’m sorry I have to rush you around.

I’m sorry I can’t give you all of my attention.

To both my daughters,

Thank you both for every smile, hug, kiss, laugh, and cuddle.

Thank you both for forgiving me when I’m being short with you.

Thank you both for reminding me what life is all about

I promise to always find time for you

I promise to always respect you as a person

I promise to love you both with all my heart

Feeling the mommy guilt this morning I felt like I wanted my girls to know how I feel. As much as I a parenting them the same, I'm raising them completely different due to the fact they are effected by the other, schedules, and my growth and how I change as a mom. Things are different, when Morrigan was a baby I had all the time in the world to give her. I never had an obligation other than keeping house. For Freya, I have my schedule, Morrigan's schedule, Chris's schedule to work around as well as Freya's schedule. Its not as easy going as it was when Morrigan was a baby and it makes me feel guilty. But when Morrigan was first born I was afraid to do what I wanted to do. I wanted to breastfed but didn't know how. There wasn't a internet community like there is now. Also, there are far more services out there for breastfeeding support. I'm so much more of a confident mom now, 8 years later, I know I can figure things out for myself. I have learned so much from each of my girls. I am so thankful for what they both have given to me, all they have contributed to my life.