|My oldest daughter in her Easter dress|
|My oldest daughter at 13 months|
How naive I was!
Being a girl doesn't mean my daughters should be any certain way. They don't HAVE to love dresses, or their hair being done. They don't HAVE to pose pretty or keep their face clean. They don't HAVE to sit still and play with dolls. They don't HAVE to be cautious and compliant.None of those things should ever define a girl!
Yet we have certain standards for each gender. Girls should have tea parties with their dolls and boys should race around the house with their super hero action figure screaming wildly. What I have learnt from my youngest daughter is those "standards", those stereotypes are incredibly false! Some boys will rather sit still and play quietly and some girls will make your heart jump into your throat when they jump off the couch because they think they can fly.
|My youngest daughter|
|Still and quiet|
|My super hero second born|
|Laundry wasn't going as planned|
|Can you find my baby?|
My oldest first words were kitty, girls (her name for the princesses), and baby. My youngest first words are no and stop it! She is just always getting into trouble. My oldest used to climb into her toy box to play. My youngest crawls into her toy box to climb up to the TV in order to smack the screen. She also likes to headbutt the wall when she gets mad. Then there is the attempts of either scaling the baby gate or pushing and pulling until she can pull the gate down as she screams this animal like screech. She is that kid no one wants to babysit, not even my husband is confident enough to be alone with her as she will get herself in trouble at a blink of an eye.
My youngest has shown me that there is no "girl" things or "boy" things. We as a society create the major differences that between genders. I was in a store recently looking in the toy aisle with my girls when we passed a older woman with two boys one I will say was a between one and two years old and the other was about 4 or so. The 4 year old asked for the Frozen play-doh set that was next to us. I heard the woman say that it was a "girly" toy and that he needs to find something in the "boy's aisle" The play-doh was not in the aisle with the Barbies, it was in with all the rest of the play-doh and games. I looked at the set, it had Anna, Olaf, and Sven.They left the aisle and then the boy comes running back. He picks up the Frozen play-doh set and goes running back. Soon the woman returns with the boys and made the 4 year old put it back. She said "I am not buying you a girl's toy, I don't care! Now go pick something out that is a boy's toy. I don't know why you would want a girl's toy." I was shocked that she had such negative things to say, being a woman and all. But this child obviously knew the movie, probably enjoyed it, just because the main characters are girls doesn't mean that a boy can't relate to the story or the characters. I felt for that boy, he really didn't understand what this woman, presumably his grandmother, was saying. He just wanted a play-doh set from the movie Frozen. But again, society creates these separations in genders.
The truth is that children are different, they are as different as every adult. No one can say why a child rather play as a Princess or play as Hulk.Not every child cares whether their hands are clean or dirty. Some children can sit and watch a movie from the moment their eyes can adjust to a TV screen and some gets too anxious sitting still for that long. Some children love reading others rather build a tower of blocks and then smash it down. It all depends on the child. Its not parenting styles, its not gender, its just personality. Children should not be treated differently because of their gender. But I will say that each child needs the room to grow into who they are. You do have to handle each child differently, not all children respond the same way to learning, discipline, encouragement, and attention. Parents need to remember that their children are little people with their own personalities. We should hold our children's hands and tell them we will love them no matter what their choices are. We need to stop deterring children away from things based on gender or because we would rather our children do something else. Letting our children be individuals while guiding them safely through life is what parenting should be about. So whether my youngest plays with Barbies or Spiderman that is completely up to her. I will buy what she wants, I will treat her the way she wants, and I will love the differences in my girls. So I might not be able to do my youngest's hair when ever she grows any, I never liked doing hair anyways!